Learning to love myself the way God does.

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Week 4 – Day 24

Dear Friend,

Fear: noun
an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Emotions are driven by what you believe. Change your beliefs and change your emotions. This sounds so simple, but in reality the emotions can influence all of our actions and interactions with those that surround us. Whenever I have a chance to talk with someone that is dealing with fear I ask them, “What are the thoughts that cause you to be uncomfortable?” This is a great way to identify the lies that we have embraced as truths either due to experience or perceptions. But what about the fear that we have come to believe is simply our personality?

For years, I have struggled with being a people pleaser. I always put the needs of others before my own, even making excuses for those that passively mistreat me. I hold myself to an unreasonable standard of always being last so others can be more comfortable. In the natural, this can appear so giving and self-sacrificing, but the reason I do it is the key. Is it because I avoid conflict or do I think that others matter more than my needs and myself? This is out-of-balance thinking, driven by a fear of displeasing others. So often those of us who have experienced rejection in our lives turn to coping mechanisms influenced by fear to protect ourselves from alienation and abandonment. No matter the reason, God doesn’t want us to stay here, because He has better for us.

God wants to deliver us from these fears that drive and influence us out of balance in our relationships. He wants to introduce us to the person (us) that He loves and values. He wants us to see our value clearly without anger or malice. What do I mean by that? Have you ever had someone tell you, “Everyone can just accept me the way I am!?! And if they don’t, I don’t care!” In reality they care very much, I know I did when I used to say these words. These strong words are a smoke screen to protect the hurt and fear in our lives from being uncovered, because it is considered a weakness. In reality bringing it out into the open submits it to God and His love. The result? It is always healing and true love for oneself.

Back to our belief—what do you believe about yourself and your value? Does what you believe line up with what God says about you? Do you have a different interpretation regarding the Word of God when it comes to you compared to your family, your coworkers or the world? There is no difference in God, below is just a small concept of what God thinks of YOU!

Psalm 139:13-16 (MSG)

13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.

People around you always being happy with you will never be a barometer of your value. It will never measure your worth or whether God is pleased with you. Pleasing people simply means that for this moment in time you are acting exactly the way those that surround you want you to act. Remember, this is a world made up of people with individual ideas, with their own personal opinions, and many with selfish agendas. It is impossible to make people happy.

Their happiness is dependent on their own beliefs and decisions; you cannot control their feelings by acting a specific way (even if they tell you that you can).

God wants you to be completely free from the fear of people being displeased with you. Their feelings are simply that, theirs. Love them enough to allow them the freedom of their feelings, but love yourself more to not be dominated by theirs any more.

God is calling you up to a higher place in Him. A place where you recognize that His worth of you is infinite. He values every thing about you and doesn’t get concerned about your mistakes or imperfections. He actually relishes them, because He sees Himself growing in you each time you submit another one of these areas to Him. It is time to take Him at His Word and believe what He says about you.

When you take the Word and speak it over yourself, rehearsing His Words in your mouth and mind… a metamorphosis occurs. (John 8:31-32)

John 8:31-32 (WEB)
31 Jesus therefore said to those Jews who had believed him, “If you remain in my word, then you are truly my disciples. 32 You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”

People pleasers take this scripture and make it another job; a place where we fall short. Yet in reality it is a testament, a promise of your freedom.

“My Son, as you take the Word and speak it over yourself, I will reveal to you the truth about yourself. You will believe it and finally you will be free.”

Praise God! You are on your way to another level of freedom. I have included scriptures below for you to meditate on. This is yet another time to invest in yourself, grab your journal. As you look up the scriptures, write out the ones that speak to your heart about God’s love and how much He values you. Read them every day and allow the truth to recreate the picture of who you are. Soon your personality will reflect your beliefs. Never again will you have to be controlled by someone’s opinion of you. Freedom is here and you are valued.

Love,
Jen

Scripture Study:

Ephesians 2:4-9
Matthew 6:25-34 (especially 31)
Jeremiah 29:11
Romans 5:8
Galatians 2:20
Titus 3:4-7
John 1:12
Ephesians 2:8-10
2 Corinthians 5:17
Psalm 147:11
Ephesians 1:3-5
Isaiah 49:15-16